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  • Writer's pictureLeisa Wilkins


Updated: Aug 28, 2023

Sometimes, God has me talk about the hard stuff. This is one of those times. Would I prefer not to - yes, but I will always obey God no matter how uncomfortable it is for me or how transparent He leads me to be!

Ouch! This meme hit the nail on the head! This post isn't about them. It's about me, what I allowed. I'm not blaming anyone but me. They could only do what I allowed them to do. And that's because I didn't see what was right in front of me! I own my stuff!

Sometimes, we don't want to own our part in the drama or disconnections playing out in our lives because it's easier to blame others. I'm not sharing this for sympathy. I have peace. I'm sharing it in hopes that someone will see what I missed sooner and not let unhealthy and imbalanced relationships continue past their expiration date! If inappropriate behavior continues, you don't have to tolerate it or continue walking with them. Remember, you teach people how to treat you.

I caused this by assigning value where I wasn't valued. I allowed myself to be used when it was convenient for them by always being available to them. Instead of reading their behavior correctly, I made excuses and didn’t hold them accountable for their behavior. When I should have enjoyed the meal, I accepted crumbs.

While Jesus commands us to love people, He never said we should be used, misused, abused, or devalued by them. We can love and pray for them from a distance. I have made peace with that.

I try to be very transparent in what I share. I don't want to ever paint a picture of perfection or that this walk is easy! I'm challenged just like everyone else. I must stand on God's Word and trust Him like everyone else. I do not get a pass from the challenges of life!

Sometimes, people mistake my kindness and caring for ignorance, unawareness, and weakness. I know exactly what you're doing. I invest in you because I see potential in you. However, I can't want more for you than you want for yourself! I can't do the work for you. Nor will I stand by and watch you self-destruct or allow you to destroy me with you. I will not become who I'm not.

I have purpose, an assignment, and a desire to honor God in how I live. That must be my focus. When the drama tries to disrupt, derail, disconnect, or destroy my purpose or change my focus, I must remove myself. No matter what, I must stay focused!

F = Faith

O = Overcoming

C = Challenges

U = Using

S = Scripture (for)

E = Eternal

D = Direction

Jesus prunes what's unproductive, and so must we. Holding on to rotting and dead things will cause other things to rot and die. That can include you, your dream, and your purpose! Don't let it! Pruning is healthy.

"Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit [that stops bearing] He cuts away (trims off, takes away); and He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit." (John 15:2 AMPC)

Pruning doesn't mean you won't ever reconnect with them. It just means that for right now, a disconnection is healthier for everyone involved. It gives all parties a chance to assess and grow, hopefully. We serve a God that is restorative. So, we can be too, given time.

Keep in mind that there are times in the Bible where God was silent! We can be silent also.

Be Encouraged! ❤

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